It all goes back to the mission...

Before leaving Kansas, I had made the comment on more than one occasion that I was in the same state of denial I had been on when my mission ended. In fact, the similarities are quite comparable.

I served a 19 month mission. (Yes,I was one of "those"). A fun fact....After spending the first 4 1/2 weeks in the Provo MTC (Aug 29-Sept 26, 2001), I spent exactly 18 months in Spain-to the day (Sept 27, 2001-March 27, 2003). So, if you take away the time I was in the MTC/CCM (Spain MTC) and then also remove the amount of time it took me to figure out what I was doing, what language I was speaking, and just all around the ins and outs of becoming comfortable in Spain, I would say I had probably 13 solid months of feeling like a true Spaniard!

Is it any coincidence that 13 months is also the exact amount of time I was home in Kansas? It's interesting to me, that so often in my life things go back to the mission.

The following are situations that apply to both my life as a missionary in Madrid, as well as my time living in Lawrence;

1. I had become a "native." (I own multiple items of KU apparel, and wear it with pride, yet I was never a student at KU-explain that one).

2.I loved my surroundings, (Mass St. actually often reminded me of my favorite area on my mission and nothing beats the site of the fall colors in Lawrence, Kansas).

3.I had grown to love so many of the quirky things about the people (White Owl-need I say more?!) and the culture ("ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK..KKKKKKUUUU!")

4.The streets had become as familiar to me as my own hometown. (Numbered streets run East & West. State streets run North & South according to their order of entrance into the Union- OK, got it!)

5. Wow! So many learning experiences compacted into 13 months and so many people I had grown to love in ways I never thought possible, thus a HUGE strengthening of my testimony and the reality of the fact that we truly are all brothers & sisters in an amazing eternal family with a Heavenly Father who loves us all so much that He lets us cross paths for a short time with one another here on Earth.

So, just like my mission, (and the fact that I knew it would inevitably come to an end)-I definitely lived in denial during the days & weeks prior to my departure from Kansas. I thought if I didn't talk or think about it, maybe somehow it would just go away and not happen. I was super sensitive to other people even bringing it up, (just like when I was a departing missionary).. and I always kept myself super busy to somehow disguise my denial. But as we all know, I DID eventually get on the plane to leave Madrid (poor Spaniard guy who sat next to me that day...he said he'd never seen an American cry so much about leaving his country- ha ha) and I DID get on the plane to leave Kansas City.
At one point prior to leaving, my Dad asked me how I was feeling about everything. I simply summed it up by saying, "Dad, it's just like the mission.-You never get over it or forget it, but you just have to move on." So I guess this time going back to Utah, the RM stands for "Returned Midwesterner?" ha ha ha ha

A Fall Full of Farewell Festivities Day 4

MONDAY OCT 13th
I'm sure some of you are wondering "WOW! To what extent did she drag out the whole leaving thing?!" I'm telling you- I was in complete denial of the fact that I was really leaving.

So at this point of the move, I was sleeping in Olathe at my parents' house. I have no idea what I did that Monday morning, but I was back in Lawrence by that afternoon to go visiting teaching one last time.

Afterwards, I met up with my dear friend, Kate. We went to El Mezcal for our much anticipated "taco" excursion. That's a funny story:
(as usual)

It all started because I'm pretty much crazy and have no idea what is wrong with me sometimes. One day I had left Kate a really random message on her voicemail. (OK, so it happened more than once or twice), but this time was especially classic when I said "Hey, we should get together and do something soon, we could go get ice cream again or a taco or something." ????????? WHAT!?! Who goes to get tacos? Let alone A taco. I have no idea. But we laughed so hard, we had to do it. And yes, I only bought ONE taco. I think it will probably turn into a tradition for us anytime that I'm home.

So after the taco, I was excited to go to my last FHE activity at the Lawrence institute. We had spent the previous 2 weeks of FHE preparing for the regional YSA Halloween Dance's assignment for each ward to create a movie. In celebration of High School Musical 3 hitting the theatres soon, (and for lack of any better ideas being thrown out from the crowd), I had suggested we do "Institute Musical." I have no idea why it was on my brain at the time, but we ran with it, and it was fun!!!

I want to publically give serious applause to Tate (Ryan) & Janae (Gabriella) for sticking with it from the very beginning, a shout-out to Will (Troy) for filling in with enthusiasm for the Troy who bailed last minute, props to Karen for showing up on filming day and getting everyone excited all over again, and also to David the super cameraman who put it all together for us. If you know anything about High School Musical-you'll notice a certain main character wasn't named above... Well, it's true...I was lucky enough to be the one to play Sharpay. (I probably had a little too much fun with it actually). I won't go into the full details of our version of the story, but once it's put on youtube, I'll post the link for you all to see. In the mean time...."Gabriella & Sharpay"
(I think we come pretty close to the real thing, wouldn't ya say?!?...well, except for the fact that Janae and I obviously have better fashion/modesty sense!)

A Fall Full of Farewell Festivities Day 3

SUNDAY Oct 12th
After a normal day of church, I had only one request for how I wanted to spend my last Sunday. I wanted to reunite the "original dinner group." I have no idea why I started calling it that, but back on the first Sunday in February we all got together and had dinner, and we did it again on the Sunday after that, and the one after that and the one after that..and it continued for quite a few weeks with us just rotating between our houses. So I volunteered to make the food for another "Spain Night." (A Tiffanie favorite, of course). Tate was kind enough to let us use his house, since by then I had no place to call my home, and the soon-to-be house of Kevin & Amy was in complete disarray with all of the moving in & out activities that had been happening. Here was the menu for the night; Tortilla Espanola, Paella, Gazpacho, Ensalada de tomate y cebolla and Pan (bread).

Tate donated the kitchen, Erin made the gazpacho (it was perfect) and Steve helped me with pretty much all of the cooking. It was so fun to have everyone back together again...(and to have Tom back from Japan now so he could join us as well).

A Fall Full of Farewell Festivities Day 2

Saturday Oct. 11th
Moving Day... It was crazy, stressful, intense, or maybe I should say TENSE? yeah..we won't go into detail, but let's just say it was a busy day for all involved. I spent most of the day in Olathe rearranging my belongings at my parents' house to have them packed most effectively for the trip to Utah.

That evening, my brother, Kevin, had planned a "TNT night" at the institute in Lawrence. TNT=Tron & Tiffanie. Tron is one of Kevin's favorite movies from childhood. He usually holds an event about once a year to "initiate" all those who have never seen it. Games and food were present for those who had already been through Kevin's "initiation" before. I was grateful for the many people who showed up to bid me farewell.

I love the Lawrence University Ward. I always will. I can't begin to explain how blessed my life has been to know the people in that ward and to have had the experiences I had with them over the past year.

That night, after the TNT party, I had one last moving task. I was determined to figure out a successful way of transporting my bed out to Utah in my car. Steve agreed to help me and I can't even begin to tell you how badly, I wish I had taken a picture. If you ask me, it was easily one of the funniest things we have ever done!!! We were determined to be problem-solvers (I think Steve knew all along it wasn't going to work, but he didn't want to be the one to break the news to me). The box spring fit just snug enough in the back, with the backseat down. So the mattress was the only obstacle left to tackle. Steve successfully was able to fold it in half, but we had to debate between hot dog or hamburger style in literally STUFFING it into the backseat area. We opened the windows to make "more room," but Steve started to express his concern of ruining the mattress with all the "jamming" we had done, and finally (after pretty much laughing my head off at the whole sight of us doing this) I came to grips with the reality that there was just no way. Oh, if I had only taken a picture! I guess this is the best I can do to provide a visual

A Fall Full of Farewell Festivities Day 1

Yay for a title full of alliteration.

As you all know, I've moved to Utah. Before I update you all on how things have been going with the move, I wanted to quickly share the events of my final days in Kansas. They were some busy and fun ones!

Friday Oct 10th,
I had my last day working as a para educator at Lawrence Free State High School in the Special Education classroom. More specifically, I had spent those past 6 weeks working mostly with a particular student with Autism. I had been warned he was a challenge,(which he definitely was at times), but overall, I really enjoyed my time working with him, as well as with the other staff.

Other than having my last day of work, I was mostly excited for the events of that evening. One of my closest friends, Steve, had mentioned that he wanted to help organize one last fun evening for me, with some of my friends before I left. The result was what I like to call my very own "Fall Festival." It all started with us meeting at Panera Bread Company-My favorite restaurant! (Not found in Utah). I can't even tell you how much soup & bread bring joy to my life.

Then we headed about 30 mins away to Gardner, Kansas for the KC corn maze. My brother, Jonathan, and his wife, Cassie, met up with us there as well. We all had a great time together wandering around the corn maze (which was cut like a KU Jayhawk and basketball).
Some of the highlights of the corn maze were; Ali having her first experience using a "Johnny on the Spot," Steve jumping out of the corn and successfully scaring Erin, Ali & me just as we were about to take a picture, Jonathan buying a pumpkin, and me ending the adventure by sitting in pumpkin goo. Gross!


After the corn maze, most of us went over to Jonathan & Cassie's house where we had apple cider, hot chocolate, homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (Thanks Cassie), candy, etc while we watched a scary movie (The Skeleton Key)- I didn't think it was very scary though. And of course, as tradition, we played Rock Band until about 2am.

September 2008

Hmmm? Some have noticed that I have taken a sabbatical of sorts when it comes to blogging. This is the much dreaded post I have not wanted to take the time to write which explains why. Are you familiar with the song by Green Day, "Wake me up when September ends?" Well, I think that pretty much says it best-seriously. I hated the month of September for a lot of reasons. Usually the welcoming of fall (my favorite season) is a much anticipated time of year for me, but not this time, not 2008.

Looking back at certain promptings/feelings/inclinations/"coincidences" or whatever you believe them to be, it all started in May. I personally refer to them as tender mercies, divine intervention and the Lord being completely aware of every detail of my life. It is once again undeniable that He knows me perfectly in how He pretty much spells things out loud and clear for me, in a way only I can understand. Hence the fact I will spare you most of the personal details and just focus on the main story. Are you ready? I'll see what I can do to make it quick.

So July rolled around and I was happily bouncing around as an EFY counselor. I was at KU and received a phone call from my long lost friend, Brian. He and I worked at Camp Wild together back in 2005. Little did I know how much backpacking along the Salmon River, hiking for miles, and finding those apples to quickly make homemade applesauce together in order to "save the starving children" would impact my life 3 years later. (This was the apple escapade-Brian is in the white)
So Brian called and left a message saying there was an awesome Recreation therapy job available in Salt Lake City that he wanted to tell me about and I should call him back. I checked the message and thought, "He must not remember I live in Kansas now. Oh well, that was nice of him to think of me." And then I ran off to continue my week of EFY bliss, not thinking anything of the message again.

Brian called me again about 2 weeks later and didn't leave a message. Seeing his missed call, I was reminded of his previous message and thought, "Darn. I never called him back to tell him I'm living in Kansas now." (Brian and I weren't really ones to stay in touch. I guess you could say we stayed connected "professionally." while I was working as a Recreation Therapist in Provo, he was in Grad school for Recreation Therapy at BYU. We often turned to the other as a resource for things).

Next thing I knew, it was mid-August and I was in my last week of EFY up in Nauvoo and this time Brian had emailed me. He sent me a link with the information about the job and wrote "I'm quitting my Recreation therapy job in SLC because I'm moving with my family to pursue my PHD. I know you're in Kansas, but this is a great place to work, and I think you'd be a great fit to take my place. Check it out." So I did. I clicked on that stinkin link and my life has not been the same since!

Before calling Brian back, I just felt inclined to talk with my dear friend, Elisabeth. How do I even begin to tell you all the reasons why I love this girl?! She and I were EFY counselors together in 2004, we were roommates, we were in classes together at BYU, we were in the same major and therefore claimed dibs on one another as project partners, she's adorable and wonderful, etc etc. Ok so I knew she was working up in SLC and I was curious if she knew anything about this job opening. I simply asked "Hey what's the name of the place you're working at again?" and she told me the name and then said "Oh but Tiff there's a Recreation therapy position open with the Division of Youth Services that I wanted to tell you about." (you could say it's the "sister facility" to where she works)...I froze! Elisabeth DEFINITELY knows I'm in Kansas and definitely knows how much I love being here. The fact that 2 friends had both thought to mention this job to me- I had to look into it and the more I looked, the more I was hooked and the next thing I knew-I had completed the application process for it.

This was all at the end of August. September came, and I had many emotionally unexpected and stressful things happening in my life at the time. Then I received a phone call from Salt Lake County requesting an interview. Part of me was kicking myself, knowing I had "doomed" myself by applying for the job. I knew I was beyond qualified for this position and having both Brian and Elisabeth on board as my cheerleaders, I knew there was a good chance I would get the job. This would inevitably lead to one thing; I would have to make a decision about accepting it, which, obviously, would mean I would be leaving Kansas.

September 14th & 15th I flew out to SLC and had my interview. I took the quick trip extremely seriously and really wanted to be fair and unbiased in evaluating how I felt about being out there. While I was in Salt Lake, I stayed with the family of one of my best friends, which helped a lot! They know me well enough and were extremely supportive and understanding in my time of stress and deep thoughts. It helped a lot to be able to talk sensibly with them about the reality of making the decision of possibly leaving Kansas and moving out to Salt Lake (right nearby them, in fact). I realized after the interview that I didn't feel good nor bad about the job, but I felt like I would be ok if I were to move there to Salt Lake City. That was huge for me!

About 2 weeks after my interview, on Sept 25th, I was offered the job. I accepted it the day after. So, I will be working as a Recreation Therapist with the Salt Lake County Division of Youth Services. This is basically a short term emergency facility for youth 12-18 who are in crisis, or who have been pulled from their homes and are waiting to be placed in either residential treatment or in foster care, etc. I'm excited to use my degree again, to work with youth and to be getting paid really well on top of that!
Things have fallen into place in ways I never could have imagined. Everything from me getting out to Salt Lake, as well as getting my things moved, having a place to live, when to start work, etc. I am constantly amazed by it. I know without a doubt that I am NOT in control on this one-AT ALL. Someone else is steering the wheel. I honestly am "just along for the ride" even though I have NO CLUE where that ride is taking me. I guess the most important part is that I'm willing to just stay in "the car" and trust "the driver."
I'll be the first to admit I still have no desire to be leaving Kansas. I feel like I just got here. In fact, I get that choked up lump in my throat anytime I start to think about leaving my family, my friends, my ward, my hometown and really the Kansas City area in general, but no matter how much denial I try to live in, the car is packed for my brothers to drive out in a couple of days and just like the song goes...my bags are packed and although I can't say I'm "ready to go"...I am leaving tomorrow... and yes, I'll be on a jet plane. This may be goodbye for now, Kansas, but honestly-you'll always be my home! And as we all know..."There's no place like home!"