After my last post about Kevin & Amy's wedding, I think it's a perfect time to finally bring this up. So let's address the elephant in the room...it's true-I will be the last member of my family to get married......uh huh...and...????
I've had more than a person or two in the past couple of months ask me how it feels being the only single person left in my family. Well, I will tell you-
#1-I can admit part of me wants to just stand there in utter amazement when they ask me that. Seriously. In a perfect world, I would just stare at them in blank silence until they hopefully would realize (on their own) the stupidity of that question. But, I'm not that lucky. So instead, I just smile and say-"Oh, we're just saving the best wedding for last."
#2-If you were to ask me growing up if I thought I would be the last Player sibling married, I'm not sure how I would have answered. First of all, it's not like I'm on the older end of the family, so I'm not sure how I was supposed to "beat" some of them to it (because we all know it's a race, right?). But I guess being the only Player girl, there has always been a certain level of bridal pressure, if you will, with the "when you get married...(insert fairy tale wedding idea here)" comments from all sides...I'm still not really sure how or why being the only girl in my family is considered to somehow be a catalyst in the process of mutually falling in love with someone???? Anyone? Anyone?
#3 Apparently someone started a myth a long time ago that any girl who goes to BYU has only one degree in mind...their "M.R.S. degree." What exactly does that even mean? I didn't even know what that was until I was already at BYU, so obviously it had nothing to do with why I had gone there in the first place.- Whatever. I must admit there was nothing during my college years that bugged me more than everyone's utter shock every time I would go home to Kansas and a "girl like me" still wasn't married, engaged or even dating anyone out in Provo. Uh...? Sorry? *shrug* (as Cassie would say). Yes, it's true-I graduated from BYU with my maiden name on my degree/diploma...woohoo! Go me! I see nothing wrong with that.
#4 I have an awesome family. My parents are amazing people and two of my best friends! I can talk to them about ANYTHING! I have 4 fantastic brothers, whom I have always loved and been close to, and now I'm lucky to have 4 great sisters (in-law) who simply just belong among us in the Player family. I can't even tell you how much it means to me to have 4 women who love my brothers. I honestly couldn't ask for more, and on top of that- I love being an Aunt! My 6 nieces are my world!
Mom & Dad (est. 1972)
James & Krista (est. 1994)[she's adorable, huh!?]
Martin & Breckann (est. 1998)
Kevin & Amy (est. 2008)
Tiffanie- Flying solo (for now)
Jonathan & Cassie (est. 2004) [This is SOOO typical of them :) ]
#5 What's the rush? I'm a good girl-it'll happen when it happens. I don't think anything is wrong with me, and I'm feeling pretty ok about how I live my life, therefore I'm pretty sure if I can trust the Lord's timing of things happening in my life-it would be fantastic if others could support Him on that as well. No, I'm NOT bitter, I'm actually just faithful (as in full of faith). I shared this quote before, but I'm going to step off of my soap box now and end this post by sharing it again as a friendly reminder to all of us.
"Having faith in the Lord, also means having faith in His timing."
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell.
10 comments:
I ran into this awesome quote yesterday. So I will share it with you.
“True womanhood is a distinctive calling of God to display the glory of God in ways that would not be displayed if there were no womanhood.
“If you try to reduce your womanhood to physical features or biological functions, and then determine your role in life purely on the basis of competencies, you not only miss the point of womanhood, you diminish the glory of Christ in your own life. Your distinctive female personhood is indispensable in God’s purpose to display the fullness of His glory.”
Its by John Piper (a Baptist preacher) and I think its awesome. I mean, I know you don't reduce your role to your biological function, but its still a good quote.
Tiffanie,
So true, so true. And Rebecca, great quote! I may have to put it on my blog.
I liked how Keighty B. put it on her blog: Does being LDS and a woman mean that you get a "Get out of ambition free" card or something (I just LOVE that "get out of ambition free")
As someone who grew up in UT--and didn't attend BYU (not cause I didn't try--but cause they didn't accept me)---most people assume that since it happened for them, it will just "happen" for everyone else. It's like the minute you kneel at the alter everyone forgets the pain, length of time, and trials that occurred before. And no one seems to realize or see the trials that occur to men and women who perhaps, dare I say, should have waited? I know--how dare I say that!
The point is...I was bugged by everyone else (and sometimes still am) about mission and marriage constantly at different times in my life. I've realized now, that the Lord has allowed their stupidity, bigotry, and well, stupidity, to test my faith in Him, His answers, and as you put it, His timing.
Besides which, one of the few great things Jon Bytheway said, is that marriage takes 2 people to VOLUNTEER to be married. Forcing someone else to volunteer is not what the Lord supports nor had planned. As such.....I am always appalled at how so often single WOMEN seem to get the full "blame" for this deal (although I've heard single men complain about some ounce of blame they deal with as well). I know that many in my father's family still view the fact that I went to school with ambition as the reason I'm single. Well, raspberry on them!!! I"ve watched some of my cousins graduate single--with no money, no plan, and a degree with which they can do nothing with---and then have to suffer the consequences of either going back to school and spending more money and time....or being dependent upon their family forever....because "Mr. Right" has not appeared as of yet. Personally,....I prefer the other side. I may be single....but as Rebecca's lovely quote says...I've never reduced my womanhood to physical features and biological functions. But, rather have attempted to become a distinctive woman who tries to give glory to God through what she does every day...instead of, dare I say, burying such talents, justifying the action of burying by "waiting" for that MRS degree?
Now...how's that for pointing out the elephant in the room.
Thank you Tiffanie for a great blog read!
Mary P.
I like your soapbox. It's a good one. It's hard sometimes growing up in "our culture" if you will, being unmarried by a certain age. The sterotypes (like me *shrug*) have made it more difficult for people in your position. I will stand by you in the fact that it will happen when it happens. And look at the bright side, when you get married you don't have to have all of the stress of "when do we go to school? who goes to work all day and who goes to school to get their education? and when do we have kids? and blah blah blah!" you have the opportunity right now to use your degree in your field and enjoy it without having to sacrifice time with your future children. That to me is priceless. Sorry, I'll step down from my soapbox now. Miss your face, super tons!
Tiffanie,
So true! I'm not sure how we didn't "connect" opinion wise before now! I started peaking at your blog right before you moved, as I found it on another member of our ward's blog. So weird how timing works!
As for the Hot Dog on a Stick...you can find them at most any mall's food court. They have a huge "Hot Dog on a Stick" sign--and have tons of lemons everywhere--cause they make their own lemon aide (which, rocks, if I may add). As in the women (cause mostly girls seem to work there--mainly cause they have to wear these funky rainbow colored shirts and beanie type hats) work up quite the sweat smushing those lemons!
Anyway....I'm trying to think of what malls you're close to. I know South Towne has one....I'm pretty sure Fashion Place still does (I think you're closest to that mall?) I know the mall in Holladay did, before they started renovating. I'm assuming they still do. So--just venture into most any major mall food court, and you're likely to find one. They're pretty hard to miss, actually.
I did find on-line that Topeka has a place called "Pop dogs" or something like that--and they say on-line that their dogs are as good, or better, than Hot Dog on a Stick...may have to find their joint and try it. Cause this craving just isn't going away.
Anyway...if you find on...enjoy in my honor please!!!!
So funny...the things I mainly miss from UT? A couple of the restaurants I can't find out here (you could also go to Cafe Rio and enjoy a pulled pork salad with black beans in my honor...oh man...now I'm counting the days until Christmas just so I can eat at those 2 restaurants!!! Pathetic, I know!!!)
I graduated with my maiden name on my college diploma, too!!!
It's true. My younger sister fields those questions all the time. She's only 25 and it drives her crazy. Her patriarchal blessing doesn't even mention a husband or kids and so of course she freaked out, but she's still remaining faithful and hopeful that she finds a boy she loves who is worthy to take her to the temple. My youngest sister was almost there. She's been engaged once before (when she was 18) and then almost with the last boy she dated, but then he cheated on her and asked the next girl to marry him (my sister and he were dating for over a year - he got married this past weekend to some girl he met 4 mos ago - WHILE he was dating my sister?!) so there are definitely reasons why Heavenly Father didn't want either of them married. Boys can be awful and scum.
I do love your quote at the end. It's like this clincher that says, SO THERE!
Ha, ha! Love your blog!! You're right the time will come & hey I graduated with my last name, but changed it the next day!
hey look i found your blog. so what's up with us not hanging out when you live down the street?!?!
Love this post - I want to shout this stuff at people all the time!
Apparently I already read and commented on this blog, but somehow forgot about it :)
Being the only girl in my family comes with a lot of the same questions. People are awesome.
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